Sunday, February 21, 2010
What Makes Me a Good Mom?
First of all, I don't want to be a good mom. I want to be an excellent mom. I don't have to be perfect to be excellent.
So what makes me an excellent mom?
1. An excellent mom is awake, present, open, and responsive.
2. An excellent mom takes care of herself. She has a self and a life.
3. An excellent mom knows when to lead and when to follow her kids' lead.
4. An excellent mom controls the pace and stress of the house. She knows when to push and when to put on the brakes. She doesn't overschedule herself or her kids! She knows it's important to have time to putter. She knows when it's time for a treat, a break, a bubble bath, or a backrub.
5. An excellent mom is creative. She creates "home," schedule, nourishment, nurturing, learning experiences, and perspective.
6. An excellent mom is centered enough to weather the storms of her kids' feelings without getting sucked in.
7. An excellent mom shares her joys, her struggles, her triumphs...not in a burdensome way, but in an informative way: "this is what life is like...you try things..sometimes it works/feels good, sometimes it doesn't. and you try again."
8. An excellent mom has a network of support. She doesn't try to do it all alone.
As kids, and as adults, who do I want them to be?
1. I want them to like themselves. I want my kids to know who they are and what is right for them. Sure, they can take time to arrive at that place, and they can make mistakes in the process. But I want them to know that they have a place in the world, that they belong, just as they are.
2. I want them to be problem solvers. I want them to develop tools to figure it out and/or ask for help. I want them to be able to take something big and break it down into steps. I want them to be confident to make decisions, to take risks, to try new things, and to learn and move on when/if something doesn't work.
3. I want them to dream big. I want to provide an example to them that shows that dreams are real. I want to help them to find the thing(s) inside of them that thrill them, and to make that into what they contribute to the world and make their livelihood from.